( DEMON THING!!!!! ...oh wait, daemon, not demon )

Translation:

I really enjoy this guy's work. The serial killer references get more than a little creepy, but all of the points he raises are pretty valid, and his editing is thorough and well-done. Hope you enjoy it!

So I don't really promote other LJ's on here. Ever. I figure if someone likes a comment someone wrote, they'll check the other person's LJ out and make their own informed decision about whether or not this is quality stuff worth reading on a regular/irregular basis.

snotman

Yeah, that's right, I didn't even segue into it properly. This guy's entries are freaking hilarious. I don't comment often enough (I AM SORRY), but I really do enjoy pretty much everything he throws out there. The most recent golden gem is a hand-crafted Choose Your Own Adventure. About bees.

http://snotman.livejournal.com/102972.html

That one, in particular. But the rest, including the Varry Otter ripoff television series, is comedic gold. And couldn't we all use a few more laughs? Go read. Punch flaming bees.

I worked late, since I had such a late start yesterday. And while usually I would make up this time on Friday, my half-day, well...holiday, so no go! Not a problem, though. I don't mind working late, and I got a lot done. Docket reports, status spreadsheets, office actions, and wonderful technical things that no one cares about! It was a fun day. Mike-boss tells such hilarious stories. Yesterday was his first experience driving into downtown Portland when it was snowing, without tires (where a schoolbus skidded and blocked the whole road, so he went around, and when his legal assistant asked him if there were any kids on the bus, he couldn't remember seeing any so said "No", then later on there was a news feed of that very bus, filled with kids waving their arms yelling "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" and he felt like a heel), and today we were talking about pets. He had a roommate who owned this big ill-trained dog who one day ran out the door to where a lady was walking her three small dogs, and in five seconds killed one, ate one, and maimed the other. He had to pay $300 to replace the pets because law states that animals are public property and get treated as such. It's not so much the story as the way he tells it, making an 'OWMF!' sound for the dog eating the other dog... Cracks me up.

So I swung by Fred Meyer on the way home. I knew I wasn't going to find any Martinelli's, but last year I found something just as good in the organic food section that no one thought to look at because only SUPER NERDS shop th--HAPPY NEW YEAR OMG YAY!--ere. I loaded up on favorite foods to snack on, like sushi, popcorn shrimp, chips and dip, a fruit tart, pierogies, and frozen pizzas (relax, I only ate the sushi and the tart, gosh), and sure enough, passing one of the end stands promoting strange miscellaneous things, on the very bottom was one last bottle of sparkling peach juice. Yoink!

I got a paranoia scare on the way home, though. I went through the parking lot towards the stairs that lead down to the sidewalk, which goes past a small cluster of shops all lumped together in one building. There was a Mexican guy huddled almost out of sight, who opened his cell phone and started talking while looking at me as soon as I rounded the corner. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I get too jumpy to give the benefit of the doubt anymore. So I hustled home, and about halfway down that particular block, I saw someone following at a pretty quick pace. So I walked a lot faster, and when it got to the part that goes downhill, I jogged to put in more distance, crossed the highway, and made it back safe and sound. Overheated and nervous, but eh, better safe than sorry, right? I really need to move, there's just something not too right about a lot of these people here. There's an ice cream truck that goes around in the middle of the night, in December. This is either insane, or perhaps a drug dealer cover. I'm kinda thinking it might be the last, these apartments kind of have a reputation for that.

Now I am at home, typing to stay awake until the new year (mission successful as you read earlier), trying out my tacky tacky leopard-print Snuggie. It is admittedly pretty cozy, and so am I. I'm totally content and happy. And tomorrow? I can sleep in. ♥

Snow does not suck. Snow is nice. Slush sucks, though. So does ice. So does the mass freak-out panic everyone goes into every time it snows out here. One snowfall is all it takes to cripple the area, not even kidding. Public transportation failed so, so bad yesterday!

It started snowing around 2:30, didn't really start to stick until 4:00. A few people left early, which is understandable. They've seen how traffic gets choked up when it snows, and it was thoroughly choked. I wished I'd had the excuse, but I knew (aka 'thought I knew') that the buses have snow chains. So alas, I had no excuse to leave early.

I didn't really leave late, though. I took off around 5:30 so I could catch the last express bus home. I was kind of surprised to see so many people clustered under the bus shelter and the building overhangs. The screen said the next express came in 5 minutes. It...said this for about an hour. But no express came, nor did any of the regular buses arrive. More people came. One guy flipped out screaming obscenities, and was labeled by pretty much everyone as 'that crazy/angry guy' when speaking about him once he'd left. So protip: if you have to be a douche, don't be loud about it or everyone will just laugh at you and make fun of you when you're gone.

About an hour later, a bus came crawling to the stop. I was so lucky, I actually got a seat. Not everyone was that fortunate. The bus was crammed, so much so that a sardine would have considered its can spacious. One poor woman had a screaming baby during the whole ride. But people banded together, it was nice to see. When the mother asked if anyone had any water, someone volunteered their water bottle immediately. A guy dressed in punk clothes bobbed up and down and made strange noises to keep the baby entertained. People were nice, they joked, and helped each other out despite the crummy circumstances and the high levels of stress.

It took two hours to reach my town, and because the campus was uphill, none of the buses were finishing the route. A lot of us were stranded at the bottom. I tried to call my dad, figuring his SUV would be just the thing, but he'd turned his cell phone off, so no such luck. I could either spend $50,000.00 on a cab, or suck it up and hoof it. I am cheap, so I hoofed it.

The streets were ridiculous. There were so many cars just sprawled haphazardly, parked wherever they saw fit. Like the sidewalk. I came across one ambulance pulling away, but as there were no sirens, I'm guessing it wasn't a huge emergency, so that's good.

It was a very, very long walk. 3.3 miles may not look like much in text, but when you're walking uphill in snow/slush/ice...and it WAS uphill the entire way...you can bet you're going to be hurting. Including a stop at Wendy's, where I was surprised to find that the fries were NOT undercooked and pale and soggy for the first time in my life nor was the bun smashed and holy crap when did Wendy's actually get GOOD???, the trip home took about two hours. My feet were sore, and I felt like my hip joints were going to explode. I got home at last around 10:30.

I wasn't sure if I would make a kickass pioneer, or a fail pioneer who dies of dysentary. At least the exercise was good, and I didn't really even feel like griping until I had an audience. Funny how that works! There still wasn't any bus service from here to the transit center when I woke up, save for a shuttle, so I sent an e-mail saying I'd be late until the buses were restored, and went back to sleep. I wasn't feeling well anyway, and the extra winks were dearly needed.

So there's my super amazing teal deer winter adventure. The snow's all melted now, too. At least it was pretty for one (very stressful) night. I like watching it fall, but only when I'm at home and not due to go anywhere for a long, long time.

We get Friday off. I will happily spend it sleeping, and maybe going to the store to see if there isn't still a bottle of Martinelli's lurking around the shelves. If not, Pepsi is just fine.

This is why I love kids. They're just so hilarious. That's the happiest Sabretooth I ever saw.